Is LOVE just a decorative emotion?

If you think your husband is cheating on you, it's you who needs to visit a shrink and not your husband or his girlfriend. They are perfectly fine with the arrangement. They are happy about what they are doing and don't think there's anything wrong about it. It's you who thinks your husband is being unfaithful to you and hence, you are not happy with his behaviour. So, it's you who needs help and not them.

Did you ever look at life this way? Profound, eh!

Cheating spouses seem to be the order of the day. Or maybe, they were always present and my eyes are opening to them only recently. Honestly, the more I meet people of late, the more I hear about unhappy marriages, philandering spouses and subsequent break-ups or patch-ups.

So I set about trying to find out what makes them behave the way they do. Some of the explanations that came my way:

i) I go back to my exes every time my husband goes out of station. Incidentally, he needs to travel quite a bit on work. So what do I do with my time? This is kind of my security blanket and also this way I miss him less. But my husband is very sweet and pampers me after he returns from his tour.

ii) Well, I don't think sleeping with other women amounts to cheating on my wife. I love her just as much, believe me. So, they are completely separate chambers of my existence. (But, thankfully, by some divine intervention, he's gotten off his philandering tendencies. Today, he admits he has a truly nice wife.)

iii) I must admit to you: the one year I lived in with my girlfriend is the best of my life. Yes, my wife and I are mutually calling off the divorce case because I really can't let go of my wife. She says I am the best thing that happened to her and I too realise how she's stood by me through it all. I know she will always be there for me. But yes, I am not sure if I can resist my ex-girlfriend if I happen to run into her again. I just hope my wife never gets to know about it. Afterall, I am human!

iv) My parents want me to marry this girl who belongs to the same community as me. But, you see, I can't live without you. So, I have postponed my engagement just to be with you. (A friend comes and asks how she's supposed to react to such a confession from her boyfriend.)


Phew! I feel like a grey-haired wrinkled up agony aunt, gulping down all of this with a pair of knowingly piercing eyes! For some, I am happy that their relationship is working out. But with others, I can actually see them hurting their supposedly innocent spouses all over again. Because, as somebody said the other day, no one changes. Given time, you are bound to go back to your old ways - the real you lusting after your 'freedom'.

To quote: "Man is born free but everywhere is in chains." And believe it or not, we love being in chains. We love to belong to somebody. It gives us an identity, a sense of belonging. How much ever we crave for our independence and freedom, as humans our ultimate happiness lies in the hands of the person who fulfills us; satisfies us. So, for once, let us be true to ourselves and be brave enough to stand up for our happiness. Even if it might hurt somebody in the process, it would be a lesser heartbreak than when he/ she finds out that you are cheating on them.

But then, where does love fit into the scheme of things? Does it really exist or is it just a decorative emotion?